I understand
that blog wise I have – what is the correct terminology here – dropped the ball.
This ball dropping extends to all areas of my life. Whatever. Dropping balls is
as legitimate a lifestyle as any. Just ask the Raiders.
In the event,
I actually blame the Raiders. Who doesn’t.
The Raiders
were the one relationship I trusted to sustain, distract and comfort me in
times of uncertainty and I didn’t notice it happening at the time but at some
point during the season this relationship took a grievous turn toward
near-total apathy so that three months’ worth of incidents and machinations
failed to elicit any emotion or response from me at all but seeing the Raiders
describe Jarrod Croker as a “flashy” player on Facebook causes me to flip the
fuck out.
Setting
aside the season-spanning, serialised saga of ceaseless negativity, the Raiders
appear to have reached a new juncture in their grim narrative by categorising
Croker as a “flashy” player.
This is what
they’ve come to. They are so parched of hope and devoid of talent that Croker
now rates as a flashy player.
Ye Gods. Because
no offence to Jarrod but I register strong objections to this claim. Actually,
offence.
He doesn’t
pass, he can’t tackle, and even if you don’t take into account the permanent
internal damage that missed kick in 2010 obviously inflicted he still looks
like he’s perpetually on the brink of a psychic meltdown and needs his mum.
|
Here is Croker holding back the beckoning abyss |
Leaving
aside his undiagnosed and chronic PTSD, the nice – not flashy, nice - thing about
Croker is that he has no desire to ever leave Canberra. He is HAPPY in Canberra.
He enjoys a FULL AND VIBRANT LIFE in Canberra. He didn’t even want to leave Goulburn
to move to Canberra and make grade because the carefully laid out roads alarmed
and overwhelmed him. There is something essentially decent about this,
especially in light of what has been happening at the Raiders for a long time but
was thrown into rude relief this year so that they are now what are referred to
in professional media circles as a “problem club”, which is also nice.
|
Here is Dugan signing with the Dragons |
Of course, the
professionals are right, but most of this year’s unpleasant ‘problems’ are representative
of a psychological syndrome at the Raiders that I notice has become steadily
and now suddenly worse as the years wear on – that of finding Canberra a
dissatisfying and dispiriting place to live and play in.
Canberra is
not going to change. Young and restless players are going to continue to find
themselves trapped in Sartre-like “huis clos” – a “no exit” hell of their own
making, and will continue to lose fans and alienate people by seeking or
forcing releases.
|
Here is Blake being bad |
Short of
relocating the entire club to Perth I don’t know what can be done about this.
Performance-wise,
the Raiders veer between the passable and the incompetent. Off-field, they have
always maintained a relatively calm surface which has been ruptured at
obligingly spaced intervals by the sort of scandals that are better understood
if you keep a copy of the ACT’s criminal statutes handy and prominent.
The gradual
and then sudden unspooling of Todd Carney’s entire Canberra career, Joel
Monaghan being blown by a teammate’s dog, Josh Dugan confounding everyone by turning
out to be a total dickhead and Blake Ferguson making me so sad I can’t even bring
myself to mention him beyond this point on here are some of the more seismic
ruptures.
See also:
Coach Furner’s
sacking
The senior
player revolt that led to Coach Furner’s sacking
Hemorrhaging
hundreds of points in a series of huge late season losses
Suffering
the most catastrophic loss in club history – Storm 68 Raiders 4
Dropping from
a lofty ladder position to one lower than Clint Eastwood’s balls but still
higher than the Eels
Papa Josh announcing
his plans to join the priesthood
Anthony
Milford’s attempts to avoid having to suffer the dreadful corrosive reality of
living in Canberra now that people outside of Canberra know his name
Papa and
Milford going rogue and getting on the drink two days before their must win
match against the Warriors in Auckland which
Papa
throwing up in their hotel corridor
Letting Sam
Williams go and now facing the very real possibility of going from having too
many halves to no halves next year
Sandor Earl being
awarded the opportunity to explore his capacities for regret, despair and
banned substances outside of the NRL
The death of
#Dorguson
Ricky Stuart
|
Here are Papa and Milford being best friends |
|
Here are Papa's shorts creeping into his crotch |
|
Here is Milford's hair
|
|
Here is Blake being bae |
|
Here is everyone who has anything to do with the Raiders |