The high stakes game of player signings and contract skullduggery is about to be taken to a new and questionable level. Shit, as “they” “say”, is about to get real. This is due to happen at precisely 10:30am AEST this morning, and because Cooper Cronk has scheduled this press conference personally and he is without question the most tightly wound human being outside of the Stasi you better damn well know that it’s going to be precise. I use the term ‘human being’ loosely and with certain nagging doubts here because he actually appears to my eyes as an assemblage of gears and electric circuitry. In any case, anyone, human or otherwise, who is that uptight is clearly masking a personality disorder. That frightful hum of intensity? Heavy. Not without a certain seductive severity, but heavy nonetheless. This is not my immediate concern today. It may be of renewed interest if he signs with the Titans though. I’m not an accountant, but I think the Titans have got financial problems. Just a hunch. Haha.
Anyway, as I have no job and no place to go today I’m going to be all over this press conference like a cheap suit. And lest anyone confuse the gurglings of my unconscious with the voice of God, and because I have a few hours to fill, I’m going to ramp up the tension by turning to the Good Book and issuing a thundering eleventh-hour biblical warning to Cooper Cronk. For real.
“Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.
You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? So, every sound tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.”
-Christ’s warning in Matthew 7:15.
Your move, Cronk.