Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Things I've Tried Telling Myself Today To Paper Over The Pain of Losing Josh Dugan

1.      His inherent douchiness was getting harder and harder to defend
2.      The more weight he’s put on the less I’ve liked him
3.      He’s having a baby and look what happened to Lleyton Hewitt when he had a baby HE LOST HIS MONGREL AND WENT TO SHIT
4.      He’s having a baby and will instantly become less cool, more fool
5.      He’s having a baby and I am unable to relate to people with babies SO BYE
6.      The Ray Lewis tattoo
7.      He is constantly CONSTANTLY fucking injured. Why bother packing on all that unsightly extra muscle if you’re still doubling over grimacing in apparent agony twenty minutes into every game you play which due to your underlying flimsiness is actually only every fourth or fifth game anyway? I believe this is what old man Hellier called a Catch 22, although I have not read the book I mean have you no I didn’t think so.
8.      Reece Robinson makes a fine fullback
9.      Reece Robinson is *fine* generally
10.  His beard I mean why hide the hot especially if its dwindling anyway
11.  What was with the boil outbreaks
12.  The senior players no longer wanted to play alongside him and by play they mostly mean witness him injure his ribs ankles knees shoulders ego
13.  He has a Staffy and in real life I hate Staffys and the men who own them so this was doing nothing for my integrity frankly
14.  You can’t polish a turd
15.  He’ll always be my Bambi

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