Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Josh Dugan's Sweetness..& other stuff

Weird things are happening everywhere.

It’s a strange season. Cosmic aberrations abound.
Darius Boyd has taken to weeping in dressing sheds at half time, and probably at full time too, poor little pie.
Mitchell Pearce is picking up Pussy Cat Dolls and maybe (unsubstantiated) Nicki Minaj while on Blues training camp in Melbourne.
Luke Lewis has been stood down as captain; a masterstroke devised by Ivan Cleary and designed to simultaneously demoralise and galvanise while at the same time helping to keep Lewis’ self-esteem in check.
Des Hasler has nothing to maniacally rake his fingers through after shaving off his lion-like mane.
Krisnan Inu has abruptly been sold to the Bulldogs and may turn out to be coachable after all.
The Sharks have been winning games.
Jamal Idris has gained weight and grown so puffy that his edges resemble rising pizza dough that’s been set aside in a bowl on a windowsill. 
Todd Carney came down with a shocking case of the Yips during his Origin debut and made numerous strange and unhelpful contributions to the game.  
Brent Kite took over Billy Slater’s high-ball duties in Origin because Billy Slater couldn’t take one to save his life. His uncharacteristically tenuous command of a fairly simple skill was a welcome development. It was also totally disorientating.

The Bulldogs and the Eels have become my favourite teams to watch; for entirely different but equally rewarding reasons, including but not limited to Jarryd Hayne's lazy charm and Josh Reynolds' abrasive feistyness.

There are some unshakable certainties though.
Brett Stewart remains as aggressively petulant as ever.
Luke Lewis continues, despite his tribulations, to trail a vague air of menace and mongrel behind him.
Laurie Daly’s eyes still look like cornered rats.

The police have netted another Rooster in their wily civic net.
Chris Sandow continues to do his best imitation of somebody who can play.
Timana Tahu continues to do his best imitation of somebody who is not a psychopath.
Dane Tilse still looks like someone who is making good progress on his learn to read program but still has to move his lips to get through the longer words.
Queensland continues to win with a good amount of ease.
Josh Dugan’s sweetness and beauty continues to trouble the air around him.  
Cameron Smith is as irritating as ever.
Braith Anasta’s head is still magisterial and profound.
Dave Taylor’s head still looks like something on a spit.
Wayne Bennett’s press conference comments still have no chance of being mistaken for an author being interviewed on Radio National.
Daniel Vidot is proving to be just as much of a liability for the Dragons as he eventually became for the Raiders.
Hating on referees is now seen to be an even more legitimate and desirable pastime for players, ex-players, fans, coaches, journalists, children, livestock and judges on The Voice.
Willie Mason is still boss.

- All this is about all I ask out of life.

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