Thursday, 26 May 2011

Josh Dugan's Debut can i get an AMEN

In the aftermath of Origin 1 I have washed up and gathered myself together and the Results!Are!In!
The jury has given Josh Dugan a HELL YEAH.

Ok, so some may disagree. This is fine. It is all subjective, it is all a matter of opinion. And as I've said here previously, mine is the correct one.

Firtst up, let's review the evidence shall we?

These are the photos that had the cool-as-shit 'Oh Origin, whatever' facade I had attempted to adopt shatter and FALL AWAY. It was purely a defensive mechanism, and what choice did I have? Queensland have hurt me too many times and I carry the scars inside dammit.

One look - followed by many looks -  at Josh Dugan wearing the sky blue was all it took to thaw me out. I mean, get a look at that smile. If that doesn't flat-out melt your heart then you are clearly a cold, cold soul and I want to be your friend. You could come in handy.

Ok. On with the game.

So he knocked on. Who hasn't? I knock on all the damn time. The other day I caught my toe in my pajama pants and dropped a lamb I was trying to bottle-feed onto cold concrete, how's that for bad? I made a lamb cry! They're like the Western world's symbol of youth and innocence and gorgeousness and I made one cry through my clumsiness. So, you know, a little perspective.

Yes, he looked for all the world like he had no muscle control whatsoever there for a second or two and yes he was in goal and yes I died a little as he went down onto his knees but did he keep it together beautifully, or what? He totally knows how to keep himself nice. The kid is cucumber cool. Tuggeranong turns them out tough.

Origin 1 and he owned the blue jersey from the get go. Now just a little growing into it is all.

As it happened, I was relieved the game wrapped up when it did because it had come to that point where I was starting to get personally offended by Billy Slater. I felt the irritation bordering on wild hate that I generally experience when he unleashes the awesome and starts in on his try-scoring trips, and it was rising fast.

The guy just gets me filthy. It's irrational and uncalled for and totally rude, but then so am I. Can't be helped. In light of this, I see it as being absolutely essential that Greg Bird has a crack at him at least once during this series. (Even a bitchslap would suffice, Birdy. Anything you can manage, kay thanx).

Anyway, the possibility that the Blues might actually win had taken root in my skull and Slater's try was just plain offensive. The Thurston Lockyer Slater combination is a marvellous thing, of course, but it is really no good for my nerves, they're shot to shit as it is. The Raiders' eight match losing streak did them a world of damage. Kind of blew out my circuitry a little I think.

Know who else has unreliable wiring? It's Sam Thaiday, bitch! Is he a bandit for a brawl or what?

Darius Boyd gets a shoutout because boy has the MOVES. Who knew? Those two tackles he made on Mark Gaz? Was I the only one who found them hot as hell and awesome in the extreme? Well, no, because Gus and Rabs were definately delighted by them. They chuckled and hooted, and there was totally some knee-slapping going on there too. Anyways, that was some throwing-down-while-ripping-each-others-pants-off maneuvering right there and goddamn did it look great.

This is not a sentence I EVER thought I'd use, but, Darius Boyd: Five Stars. Now get out of my sight.

Since I have the Star system out, let's talk about James Blunt. What.the.FUCK. James Blunt, no stars. He reminded me of Billy Slater! Y'know, if Billy Slater had a neck and all. I'd put the proof up but I don't want it soiling my blog. Trust.

In fact, in the interests of tone and taste I think the thing to do here is to roll out some pictures of the palate cleansing variety. Think of them as a fine sorbet.

Tick, tick, tick...........Twenty days.

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