Saturday, 14 May 2011

.....smells like..victory

Whiskey Oscar Whiskey! (wow)

                                                  Raiders going into aami park

WOW. There was an upset that was, oh, ELEVEN years in the making.
Talk about a boil over. That shit was VOLCANIC.

Also, way to make Cam Smith pissy, Raiders! He is spectacularly ungracious in defeat, and aside from seeing Billy Slater making costly mistakes and/or getting drilled in violent tackles, nothing pleases the hater in me more than seeing Smith sulky in defeat and forced to rake over the wreckage of his game in a post-match press conference. No one mumbles surly mono-syllables into their chest and avoids eye-contact and radiates purple waves of poor sportsmanship quite like him.

It's truly a sight to behold, and it's one that I really revel in, ok? Ok.

                                             How the Raiders rode him. More or less.

Basically, I have nothing coherent to say about this game because as soon as Canberra got out of the blocks early I lost my shit completely. I think this is totally justified, by the way, especially coming on the back of last week when, y'know, they failed to get out of the blocks AT ALL.

I know that Cooma's greatest export since Brett White ie. Sam Williams, threw a tidy cut-out via Croker to send Reece Robinson over in the fourth minute, this much is clear, though nothing much else is.

So. My expectations regarding this game were at an all-time low. In a weird way, then, I was looking forward to being able to watch it in a relatively relaxed state, as opposed to ending up a jangled wreck with fingernail marks in my palms and the possibilty of an aneurism very real by the 11th or 12th minute.

Which is my natural Raiders-watching state, really.

During the post-try celebrations, amid the back-slapping and wot not, all my mind could manage, on repeat and with extreme feeling, was

                                                      "fuck Duges is fierce"

Which is totally my natural Dugan-watching state, now that I think of it (right Gav?!)

His fierceness is very distracting, but, honestly, what's the boy to do, hide his hot under a bushel? I think not.

Anyway, 15 minutes in and it was glaringly, awesomely obvious that the Sprawled-Slack-Jawed-Across-the-Sofa mode of viewing I'd anticipated was not to be.

It was 12-0 to the Raiders by way of Dugan setting up Josh McCrone for four points and Croker converting in his usual tidy fashion and all I have written down from this period, which can really be seen to sum up my feelings until the 79th minute, when I began to quietly cry, is this:

                                               terrible tension, TERRIBLE tension.

Other miscellaneous recollections involve the Storm being all up in every bitch with the ball's business and holding them in tackles for way too long, and Brett White making a courageous try-saving tackle on one of his ex-teammates, which I guess in civilian terms is akin to making out with your new beau in front of your ex, in extremely public surrounds. Shazam!

Brett-said I loved you but I lied-White

Then I have disjointed memories of it getting to 12-12, and endless sets of six being traded, and the Raiders holding super steady in defense and, after 20 or so minutes, the Raiders starting to get on top. Astonishing.

There was a 2 point penalty kick in there somewhere, 14-12.

There was Dane Tilse putting an absolute bell-ringer on some debutant Storm kid that caused one of the commentators, Belcher I think, to holler:

                    "welcome to first grade, son, my name's Dane Tilse!"

as a kind of comic-strip thought bubble to accompany the multiple and gratuitous replaysof the massive hit.

Then, somewhere in the final 10 minutes, Blake Ferguson's awesome tippy-toe skills came into play and he stayed in the field of play by one whisker and that beautiful thing that is Benefit of the Doubt to score a freaky runaway try and put them 8 ahead.

I have no idea what happens after this but I assume the Green Machine manage to maintain their composure and confidence because they go on to get the win, and I go on to emote, and the Raiders go on to gather together in an adorable post-win Victory Huddle and Cam Smith goes on to be a sulky bitch.

All is as it should be, basically.

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